The sad truth is that even though people are well intended they really have no idea what it is like to live a painful life and that it can feel unbearable even on the best days. Honestly, those days that I'm able to leave the house, with a little makeup and dressed decently, are the days that the pain is actually managed. I am never pain free. But more often than not, by the time I get ready to go somewhere I'm in so much pain I have to cancel. If you weren't in emotional pain before, you certainly are now, not to mention, what that isolation does to your soul.
Pain is subjective, you can't see it, feel it, hear it, or smell it. Unless you have an obvious visual medical problem. But let's assume you don't. Our circle of family and friends get up everyday, go off and do their day, without a thought about pain. And here we are! One, we have to get our hurting bodies out of bed, two, we have to struggle to get off to work, assuming you can work, and three, we have to be around people all day who have no clue how much pain we are in.
What is pain anyway? Pain is whatever you say it is! What? Really? Yes, you get to decide what your pain is! Not your spouse, friend, mother or doctor. In 1968 a nurse by the name of Margo McCaffery revolutionized the medical assessment of pain by suggesting that pain was whatever a patient said it was and that it was happening when the patient said it was. Before this, however, those in the medical field often decided when you were in pain. Of course not all doctors and nurses felt that way but unfortunately some did. A great deal of the general public today still believe they have the right to tell you if you were in pain. You know those people. "It doesn't hurt that bad." "You'd feel better if you'd just do this..." "You can't hurt every day!" "You should be used to it by now."
What does that mean to you and me? My opening blog was about acceptance of our pain. Self validation is of utmost importance because pain can strip you of your voice. When we lose our voice, our tenacity for life is impacted. Acknowledging that you are in pain and having a voice to say to your loved ones "I'm in pain", is winning half the battle. What if they doubt you? Well, I hope they will at least begin to believe you. We can't control how others think. The only thing we can control is our own words that we put out into the universe. But we can help our loved ones by having the conversation with them about our pain. You may find that they are in pain as well. If your pain is within a relationship, then bringing it out may not only help you to begin to heal but maybe you can then start the healing process together.
It is important for you to find people to talk to about your pain, be it a friend, therapist or doctor. We are not meant to live in this world isolated from others. As hard as it is to reach out to others while in pain, we must take those small steps. Begin the journey from isolation to a warm hug from a friend. And on the really bad days, paint a silly pain face on your forehead and stay home to feed your soul. Take a bubble bath, listen to music, call a friend, read a good book. Do something that elevates your mood.
Blessings to you today!
Additional reading:
http://www.deathreference.com/Nu-Pu/Pain-and-Pain-Management.html
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0DE3DE1131F935A35752C1A9619C8B63&pagewanted=all
No comments:
Post a Comment